Running, Running, Running…Just Keep on Running…

Ok, technically it should be “swimming, swimming, swimming…” and yeah, that’s from the movie, Finding Nemo. 

But hey, I think running, running, running, works too.

Times from April 27th & 28th:

And here are the times from April 29th & 30th:


As previously mentioned in an earlier post, a few years ago I attempted to go 30 days streaking, and made it all of 11 days.

Today, April 30th – marks 12 days of streaking! Only 9 days left of this challenge. Hang on blog followers, I might actually reach this goal!

If I successfully reach this goal, I will have weathered rain, unseasonably warm temperatures, to running this morning with my hat and gloves on because it’s cold. Again.

Not to mention, best of all, my seasonal allergies kicked in on a brutal scale last week. This means that I sometimes run now while congested, sneezing, or in a blur because of the goo in my eyes. Oh, and sometimes it’s really difficult not to trip over my own feet because I’m that tired from pollen.

Run, run, run!


Change #84: Another Challenge Bites The Dust

Has everyone heard that song from the 80’s by Queen?

It seemed appropriate. I fail, fail, and fail challenges. It’s my thing to do.

Wait a sec. What’s that below?

Ha! I got ya!

Below is my time from my morning AM run on Monday, April 24th. Ok, don’t look at the bottom number. Otherwise, all you’ll think is: she must have walked the whole way. 

When I returned from my run that morning, I inadvertently left the watch sitting on the dining room table and forgot to hit the stop button on the timer. Nonetheless, it skewed the bottom number that shows how fast I ran.

My bad.

Besides, it doesn’t matter, I’m getting out there and making an effort. More of an effort than I’ve made in quite some time.

April 24th Run

And below are my 8:30 PM results of my run after a BIG salad and an itsy, bitsy glass of wine, in the twilight hours of the day with rain soaked sidewalks that meant I nearly fell on my face.

Again. (If you’re confused by the statement of “falling on my face”, check out the blog post called Gravity Sucks.)

Apparently, I might make salad and wine my new fuel food for all runs in the future. Weather being wet and miserable, I had a good run. But then again, I always love running at night. I’m normally pretty tired, but there’s something that feels like you’re in another world when you run in the dark. I know it’s weird. I’ve always loved it.

April 25th Run

Finally, this morning’s run. What day are we on?

April 26th, I think?

April 26th  – this morning….

How am I feeling about streaking? Pretty good actually. While I haven’t lost a pound, I feel like I’m stronger. My body (in particular my mid-section) seems a little smaller. Emotionally, I still have my good and bad days, but I’m keeping more perspective and even if things aren’t going quite perfectly (does that ever happen, for anyone? I think not) I’m remaining positive regardless of the challenges I am facing.

One thing though. I MUST STRETCH MORE. My butt is getting tighter. Not in a good way. 

I believe I’ve conquered 7 days of streaking. I’m 1/3 of the way there.

Change #85: Fulfill the Reading Quest of Completing 10 Books By The Close of This Blog

Last year I posted on my Goodreads account I would read 5 books.

I read 3. To be fair, I posted it in July of last year, but still….

This year as I started my challenge in January, I thought I would aim for 10 books to be read by the close of the year. So far, if you include The Beautiful and Damned by F. Scott Fizgerald that I started last year, I have read one. I have started two, but still….

Things are not looking so good. 

Here’s my challenge: I will read 10 books by the end of this blog (October 20th, 2017)

These are the books I have either received as gifts or purchased:

  1. My Not So Perfect Life
  2. Valour at Vimy Ridge 
  3. Her Darling Boy
  4. Furiously Happy 

These books are the ones that I will aim to complete. Once I run out of reading material, I will find additional books and add them to my Goodreads account.

So that we don’t lose track, I will add this change on the sidebar of this blog.

As well, as I complete a book, it will be updated on my Goodreads account.

Now off I go. I have reading to do.


The Running Streak has been successful so far.

Although, my Saturday run started off as a run, but digressed into more of a walk. But hey, I got out there, attempted a run, and did not choose to stay on the couch.

Some days, that’s all you can ask for.

Day 4 & 5:

The last day for My Streaking Life, will be May 9th. (I had to figure out the end date, because honestly, I’m going to lose track.)

The Streaking Sensation

I would be lying to you if I said I haven’t already had days when I didn’t want to run. Yesterday, I was too tired. And today, well, it was Friday. It seems wrong to do it on a Friday.

Proof of Run – Day 2:


Day 3:

Did I mention it’s raining this morning in Ottawa? And it’s not a warm rain. You know what I’m talking about, right? It’s the summer rain that we get, where it’s hard to differentiate the difference between perspiration and rain. It feels exactly the same.

No, this morning with Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran cranked on my MP3 player, and my beeping watch going off indicating my 10’s and 1’s, (hmmm…actually scrap that. I couldn’t hear it because my music was up so loud) I splashed through puddles (Why you ask? I was already going to get wet) with cold rain smacking me in the face, soaking my brown mane, as droplets of rain stuck to my eyeglasses making it difficult to see the the road ahead of me. Near the conclusion of my run, I looked down at my uncovered hand, and it was red from the rain and cold.

Ahhhh, springtime. 

Rain be damned, Friday excuses pushed aside, I still ran.

Ok, people. In case you scroll back and you see my first post on this change, you’ll see that the distance is exactly the same. 2.18 KM as today’s picture. Look at the bottom number. I ran faster.

I try to be a trooper about getting wet, but seriously, I didn’t want to be out there longer than I needed to be.


For those people just joining me now, and thought I was running naked, read change #84. 

Change #84: 21 Days Of The Streaking Life


Option 1: long, thin lines of a different color from their surroundings, especially on dyed hair. ~ Taken from Google Search (Yeah, it won’t tell me where specifically this definition comes from)

Option 2:  Streaking is the act of running naked through a public place as a prank, dare or an act of protest. ~Wikipedia

Here’s my guidelines for streaking:

  1. I must run a minimum of 2 KM
  2. I can run any time of day. (Although morning would be ideal before I get too constrained by societal norms, requirements and expectations.)
  3. I must have some way of measuring the distance I ran. The easiest way to measure would be to use my sport watch. But if this fails me, (it happens, I don’t know why) I can use Google Maps and calculate the distance based on Google’s calculations. However, I must under these circumstances, run at least 2.5 KM, in the odd extreme case, Google maps has logged an incorrect amount of 2 KM when in reality it is only 1.5 KM.
  4. I must streak for the next 21 days consecutively. NOT ONE DAY SHALL BE MISSED. If I fail to meet this requirement, I lose this challenge and we subtract one. AGAIN. (Anyone keeping track? How many changes have I failed to meet so far in Pushing Boundaries?)
  5. Proper running attire is not a requirement. I need only wear my running shoes. (Oh, and sport watch!)

I’m calling them guidelines, NOT RULES, for a reason. The reason is this: I believe that I am a rule breaker.  Tell me I can’t do it, and I will do it. It’s a guarantee.

And these are the guidelines I will adhere to in order to complete 21 days streaking.


NO! Surely, NOT! 

Sure, the blog is called Pushing Boundaries, but as Captain Picard said in Star Trek, “THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HERE!” (Oh, and now Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory says it too!)

And that’s one line I WILL NOT CROSS. In case anyone out there had any doubt. I thought I would just say it.

Ok, that’s done.

There is a 3rd definition for streaking and this comes from the website for Runner’s World:

“The goal is simple: Run at least one mile per day, every day, starting on Thanksgiving (Thursday, November 24) and ending on New Year’s …”

Now, you will notice we are nowhere near Thanksgiving either in Canada or the USA. But, I read about this a few years ago in a Runner’s World Magazine and they suggested it be done for 30 days and when I read it, it was splat in the middle of summer. And I thought, What a great idea!

Then I did it!

Well, for all of 11 days….

And I’ve decided now would be a good time to try this again. I’ve been thinking about this challenge for several months; however with the training for the CN Tower Stair Climb that wrecked my ability to climb even a single flight of stairs and prevented me from walking anywhere for several days after “training”, to applying makeup for 30 days, to the blonde hair – I simply could not realistically see me completing more than 2 days of running 2 KM in a row. I deferred the challenge, deferred it again, waited, and reconsidered how to tackle this blog so I could get some of the bigger things done.

Now we’ve cleared those things away, ENTER STREAKING….

You’re probably wondering why only 21 days though, right? Well, it’s because I’m going away in a few weeks for a weekend, and I honestly don’t know if I will have access to a treadmill, or if I will be able to run outside.

Sure, I’m being strategic. But I do want to succeed at this challenge.

I love to run. It makes me happy, relaxes me, helps me sleep better, and I think I might be smarter when I run. There is so much clarity and peace. I miss that. 

This morning was Day 1. Remember the concept of: I do not need proper running attire? I made that decision this morning. I decided I make things WAAAYYY too complicated!

This morning I ran in a cotton t-shirt (it was my CN Tower Stair Climb Shirt), sweat pants, and a regular bra.

I really need to simplify things.

And here’s my proof:

Although, I think next time, I will make the effort to use a sports bra. Ladies, you know what it’s like trying to work out without one. Men – just use your imaginations.

And just for the record, I’m not being completely strategic with this challenge. If I was, I would have waited until the summer when the forecast was for a full week of sunshine.

Instead, below is the Ottawa weather “guess” for the next week:

Thu, 20 Apr Mainly cloudy. High 11. UV index 5 or moderate.
Night Cloudy. Periods of rain beginning in the evening. Wind becoming east 30 km/h in the evening. Low 7.
Fri, 21 Apr A mix of sun and cloud with 60 percent chance of showers. High 15.
Night Cloudy periods with 30 percent chance of showers. Low plus 5.
Sat, 22 Apr Sunny. High 12.
Night Clear. Low plus 2.
Sun, 23 Apr A mix of sun and cloud with 40 percent chance of showers. High 16.
Night Cloudy periods. Low plus 2.
Mon, 24 Apr A mix of sun and cloud. High 12.
Night Cloudy periods. Low zero.
Tue, 25 Apr A mix of sun and cloud. High 13.

We are all over the map: RAIN! It’s warm! It’s below zero. Sunny! RAIN!

Let the good times roll!


Same rules go for this post, as with applying makeup daily. I will post updates intermittently.

If I fail, you’ll know.



Hello, Do You Remember Me?

Dear Readers,

Thank you for participating in my experiment of Pushing Boundaries. Thus far, it’s been a wild ride of me drinking MANY types of beverages that are coffee-like, eating weird food (that’s you, seaweed salad! Bleah!), wearing leather pants, going blonde for a month, applying makeup diligently every morning for 30 days, doing the Polar Plunge, and climbing the steps of the CN Tower. (That’s all 1,776 of them. YES. I really did feel like I needed to mention it again).

Yes, we’ve done a lot together.

But now, I think it’s time to say ADIEU.

Adieu to the mania of trying to cover 4 changes in 1 week! That’s just madness!

It’s an obscene number of changes to complete, and then spend 2+ hours drafting it and posting it for this blog. There is the mind boggling shimmying with trying to ACTUALLY load the  photos, and then trying to decide, hmm…photos organized in circles? slide show? square boxes? Oh, decisions, decisions!

From there, I will TRY to write some funny caption underneath the photo. (Ok, it doesn’t always happen.) After that, I need to edit my posts and ensure that I correctly spelled  th the right. (You laugh. You have no idea what words I’ve incorrectly almost posted that were misspelled. I know, I’m sure there’s still a few errors. But hey, you should see the early drafts.)

While trying different foods and restaurants has been fun, and my very round tummy has thoroughly enjoyed it (and let’s be honest, me too!) there are other things I want to do for this blog. Some of those things, MAY NOT require eating.

For example, here are some of my other ideas:

  1. Learn to Tap (That’s the dance that a 5 year old kid knows how to do, but I don’t.) Or Waltz. Or learn how to do Swing Dance. Seriously, I would like to find my groove. 
  2.  And on that note…Blow the dust off my guitar and learn how to play the darn thing. I’ve had it for 10 years, it seems like it’s time.
  3. Kayak (Hubby says I may need lessons so I don’t drown. We shall see.)
  4. Fly a kite (Ok. That is only a one day commitment.)
  5. Go for a 50 KM Bike Ride (Or maybe 30. Or maybe just get my bike serviced this year so I can bike at least once on a beautiful summer’s day.)
  6. Ack! PAINTBALL! 
  7. Laser Tag!!!
  8. Extreme Trampoline! (It’s so close, yet so far!)
  9. Go Streaking
  10. Indoor Skydiving

That’s just a few of my ideas. I’m not saying they will all happen, but I want some of them to happen. Life’s short. I want to make the most of it. 

The problem that I  found with this blog, is that I misjudged how long it takes to complete a change. Sure, eating something new is only a five minute endeavour (or 2 seconds, depending on how yummy it is! Or terrible for that matter.) but the Polar Plunge was a two day commitment. Same with the CN Tower Stair Climb. And don’t get me wrong, I loved every minute of those. I simply want to do more of those types of changes.

Now to be honest with you readers, I’ve noticed for some time the number of changes I put in at the beginning of this blog was too many. But I refused to change it.

Isn’t that ironic? 

My blog, called Pushing Boundaries, that is meant to fire up my life, and get me living every day, actually worked in opposition to the purpose of the blog. It forced me into patterns and routines. 

At various points, I dug my heels into the ground and said, “No! I will not remove the number! IT IS ACHIEVABLE!”

Sure it is. I can try ever doughnut there is on the planet: but I will never take a hot yoga class,  or spin class. (I’ve never done either in my life.)

Why you ask? 

Because it would mean I would have to go to a workout class a couple of times a week. And I simply CAN’T make the time. I don’t have anymore minutes left. If I’m spending 8 hours writing blog posts/week, I work full time, I commute to work, I have household chores to do, Hershey needs to walk, I REALLY need to get back to running, oh! And somewhere in there, I still need to do 4 changes in one week on top of the spin class! (Because Spin Class counts as one, I post it, and then I never do it again? Maybe. If I hate it. But if I love it, I can’t do it because I won’t have the time. That’s just silly.)

I’m not making excuses. But it’s a reality check. And at the end of this blog, I want to complete some of those bigger objectives.

So, let’s scratch 186 changes. 

I’ll happily say I failed the challenge of meeting 186 changes. Instead, I’m pushing a new boundary by revising my number to: WHATEVER. The end date will remain as October 20th, 2017.

Let’s see what we can get done with the time left, shall we?

And let’s have a blast! 

Quality over quantity. It’s the best way to go.

A new post will be published somewhere around teh   (Do you see what almost happened?) the week of April 17th.  I have an idea! 

On that note, all the best for a wonderful long weekend!  (If you have it off. If you don’t, sorry to rub salt in the wound. On the upside, there’s lots of chocolate to be had, on top of all the other regular chocolate that you can have every other day of the year. Maybe, that’s not really an upside. Just forgot that whole chocolate fiasco.)

On that awkward note…

Goodbye for now!

Gravity Sucks

As you may have determined, I successfully climbed the stairs of the CN Tower. The part you will not know – I fell flat on my face in the streets of Toronto.

First, let’s start from the beginning.

I wanted to do the CN Tower Stair Climb as one of my challenges for this blog. When I first told my husband about it, he mentioned he wanted to do it too. I was thrilled not to have to go it alone for this event.

In the last week before this event, we reviewed details and somewhere read that water would be provided, and that there would be rest stops every 10 floors.  We planned to pull over on the rest stops when needed, in order to conserve energy, and so that we did not hamper the efforts of other climbers. We also planned to go fairly early in the morning as we read that we should start early: “in order to avoid long lineups.”  We both thought it was a good plan.

I also planned to bring a knapsack that would hold wallets, medication, cameras (so I could get pictures of the climb) water, and a cell phone or two. However, a couple of days before this event we were told everything would need to be checked when we arrived. We were not permitted to bring cell phones, cameras, or water. Knapsacks were not permitted. (We were told that water would be provided. It was, but not until the very end. As well, there were no designated rest stops every 10 floors. You just pulled over whenever you needed it.)

Initially I was annoyed. How dare they forbid me from bringing a cell phone, water and a camera? But, I was only annoyed for a few seconds. It dawned on me fairly quickly, that the last thing the organizers needed were a bunch of climbers that were taking pictures, spilling water on the stairs in the stairwell, while other climbers were trying to squeeze by the photographers. It would be a recipe for disaster. 

On Sunday morning we woke early (me at 5:30 AM) so that I could take a shower and forge a little caffeine-kick and food before the event. My hubby had cleverly stole two Kashi trail-mix bars from home before we left and he planned to have one that morning. I realized I may require more food than that, and showered early so that I could set off on a hunt for Starbucks.

Alas, I was unable to locate an open store. Instead, I sauntered over to Tim Hortons that I had seen on my quest to find Starbucks. It was literally around the corner from our hotel and time was running out. We want to go early. I purchased a coffee, tea, and a raisin bran muffin.

When I was back in the hotel room my hubby drank his coffee, while I drank a little bit of my tea, and eat 1/2 my muffin.  (From my experience training for marathons and half-marathons, I know you don’t want to be full for a physical event, but it’s bad to run out of fuel half way through an event as well. It’s a very fine line.)

As we left our hotel room it was sunny, but cold. The winds from the previous day had subsided but it still made for a chilly, let’s walk briskly to the Metro Toronto Convention Center to register before we freeze out here kind of start to the day.

We felt the excitement as soon as we arrived, with people pointing in the direction of where to go and what needed to be done. They thanked us for coming out to the event, and cheered us on as we went this way, went that way, and checked our items. I stripped down to a tank top and sweat pants and checked my sweater and coat. The organizers led a long line of climbers as we went up some stairs, and headed out in the cold.

As you all may have guessed, I was fearful about this climb. I have not been in a particular optimistic, I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD! mentality. It’s been more along the lines of: Oh god. It’s raining again. Please, don’t make me go outside. There’s really no point. Nothing good ever happens out there. 

That being said, my husband in the last few weeks has tried to reassure me and rally my spirits. He said, You’ll be fine. You got great cardio. You run. 

I refused to believe a word he said, as I increasingly saw myself as a sloth.  (Don’t get me wrong, I love sloths. They’re so cool. But if I moved that slowly, my dog, and my husband would never want to walk with me. EVER.) In truth, the day before the event as we walked around the streets of Toronto, I felt sluggish and tired. I quietly questioned my sanity of willingly signing up and paying to climb up 1,776 steps in the CN Tower.

After all, they have elevators. 

When we finally entered the CN Tower and began our ascent I was huffing like a mad woman. They labelled each flight and as I past 5, I thought, oh no.

Then, the same thing happened to me as it did when I trained in the stairwell at work a couple of times for this event.  Once I got past the 5th flight, it was almost as if something turned and my body said, oh right! Stairs! Here we go! 

Now, hubby and I were still sweating and panting, as we climbed up past the section that said, 35. As well, somewhere around 40, I really needed to know how many flights were involved in this quest. I cautiously and quietly asked the next paramedic I saw that was stationed in case a climber needed help, “How many flights are there?”

To which he replied, “I don’t know. But 76 is the half way mark.”

Slightly crushed, I continued to climb, and hoped that hubby had not heard.

But we made it to the top in a fairly good time. Hubby had said that the average time was around 45 minutes. In the days leading up to the event, I warned him that it might take me a little longer than 45 minutes. He is a little more competitive than me, and I don’t like seeing him disappointed, so I informed him that he could go ahead without me if I was slowing him down.

We made it together – in 32 minutes and change. I was elated! There is something to be said for getting up early in the morning, completing an event that you thought was impossible, and doing it better than expected.  It gave me such a sense of accomplishment. I felt so great that after we had come back down in the elevator, and were crossing a bridge outside to make our way back to the Convention Center to retrieve our items, I looked up at the sun shining down on us and when I heard a band playing in the background I couldn’t contain myself – I danced in my tank top, and sweatpants in the cold on that bridge.

I raised my eyebrows and said to hubby, “Maybe we can go dancing tonight?”

He smiled and said, “Maybe.”

After we went for breakfast, I continued to glow from my accomplishment. We talked about how I felt in the weeks and days leading up to the event and I said, “I feel the best I’ve felt in weeks.”

As we finished our breakfast and packed up our stuff we decided to check out the St. Lawrence Market as it was only a few blocks away.

And that’s when it happened….

My husband was a little bit ahead of me, and I have really no idea what happened. I tripped on a curb, or tripped on a crack, and went flat-faced down in the middle of the sidewalk. The scariest part of this was the sheer terror when I realized I was not going to recover from my fall. As well, as I hit the pavement, I felt something crack on the right side of my face.

I was terrified. My biggest fear is falling. I know how random life can be. How people can survive plane crashes, and others will trip on a curb and suffer a concussion. 

My husband said that when he turned around all he saw was my plaid jacket, and my brown hair spread out across the concrete. He came over in a panic. I got to my knees and continued to worry about the cracking sound I heard. My neck was stiff, but I could move.  The right side of my face hurt and I looked at my hand as I stared down at the peeling, bloody, scrape that sat above my palm.

I realized a small group had gathered. I remember a blonde woman who had a couple of kids came over, and asked if I was alright. I was still freaking out a bit and I felt like I had to explain. So, I mentioned my brother and his accident. A few moments later, another man came over and asked me again if I was alright. A crowd of concerned pedestrians had gathered.

The second man that had approached said he was a physician and asked repeatedly if I was alright. And then, with a wonderful bedside manner said, “I know it’s embarrassing. Maybe you want to go over there and get cleaned up.” He pointed to a store nearby, that I think may have been Tim Hortons. (I really can’t remember.)

I reiterated several times that it was not because I was embarrassed. I finally calmed down enough to convince everyone I was alright. Just before we left, I broke into laughter as I realized how ridiculous I must have looked.

Me and hubby both laughed because I fall down all the time. I’m a clumsy little person. I joked, “Sure, don’t worry about me climbing the CN Tower stairs. The thing you should really worry about – is me walking down the street.”

The order was:

1) CN Tower Stair Climb

2) Fall

3) Wine (Yeah, I definitely earned it that day.)


Update on Change #77: My Week Of Self-Reflection

Over the last 13 days I have gone alcohol-free, and before this challenge started, I had already established alcohol as a depressant as one of the nasty side effects for me. The morning after a single drink, I would notice a pattern where I would be sent into a tail-spin of self-loathing and self-doubt. I would question who I am, and what I can seriously achieve in my life.

What I found out over the last two weeks is that I am still suffering from self-loathing and self-doubt. Except now, I know some of the reasons. While alcohol works as a depressant making it difficult to function the next day, and I could excuse myself from the gym; it also numbs me while having a drink. Therefore, I never had to consider what things are making me unhappy. And because alcohol mildly impairs my ability to think clearly while drinking, I never began the process of figuring out how to fix my life.

There is something that I should share with you. I thought about entering it in my blog when I failed the, Thou Shall Not Eat Past 7 PM post, because I didn’t want to share something personal or make excuses when I failed to meet an objective. (Although, I know I sometimes do make up reasons why I fail.) Quietly, and to myself, I have a rough understanding about why something failed. But publicly – I don’t always want to put it out to the world.

This blog is in itself a challenge for me. 

I offer forgiveness to myself privately when something doesn’t go according to plan, because I find that if I don’t, the battle within me turns into a series of name-calling catastrophes. The name calling includes: You’re such a loser. Other people do it, why can’t you get your act together? God, I’ve never seen someone as unsuccessful as you are. Why do you even try? (I have more, but I’ll stop there.)

If you’ve read along with some of the posts, you may know a friend of mine died last year. I am approaching the one year anniversary of her passing. I try to minimize the effect this loss has had on me because I lost my father and brother over the course of 8 years as well. I argue with myself and say: she was just a friend, not a family member, so it shouldn’t bother me that much. (Several people have already told me how ridiculous it sounds, but it doesn’t stop me from still thinking it.)

She wasn’t a family member. But what she was – was a wonderfully, spectacular, supportive friend that I miss dearly. A couple of years ago I was published in a literary journal for the first time in Potluck Magazine with a short story titled, Do You See Me?  I was thrilled and emailed everyone I knew. It was the first time I thought, maybe I’m ok at this?

That friend – the wonderfully, spectacular, supportive friend that I miss dearly, emailed me and wrote that it was a great story adding: I can picture everything that is going on in my mind. To me, that was the biggest compliment someone could give me with my writing.  That they are there, standing with one of my characters, and that you have come along for the ride, and feel what they feel.

With the post titled, Thou Shall Not Eat Past 7 PM, that was a terrible timing mistake on my part. I tend to eat more when faced with an anniversary of losing someone I loved.  Yes, my weight is up overall. But, it’s not worse than last year when I added the additional 6 pounds. If  can get over the next couple of weeks, I can stabilize, and then tackle the bigger problem of taking it weight off so that I feel comfortable with myself again.

And this is the point where not drinking made me realize a few other things. I’m a little uncomfortable with my body right now. It doesn’t mean I hate myself (Quiet, you evil devil in the background of my mind that’s constantly trying to take me down!) just that I don’t feel as good as I have in the past. I need to do something for me. Not for the world, not for my husband, not because strangers are giving me the side-ways look of: she can really stand to lose a few pounds. 

So, I bought a bigger swimsuit. And – I realized I hate the two-piece I purchased a few years ago. I never felt comfortable in that thing. NEVER.  And I plan to start swimming regularly because it helps me relax, and I think if my headaches come back, it will aid in preventing them or minimizing how miserable they make me feel.

Also, I’m planning on buckling down one weekend and booking a hotel room for the sole purpose of working on the second installment of, Dragon in the Mirror. I need a longer time frame to concentrate, and while I love my hubby and LBM, I need a longer time frame time to write – uninterrupted. It’s killing me just a little that I can’t complete my longer writing projects.

Tomorrow is the CN Tower Stair Climb for the World Wildlife Fund. My husband and I (in a coincidence, a friend is also doing it as well!) are registered and have made the donation required. Tomorrow morning, we will lace up our running shoes to ascend 1,776 steps.  I have already told hubby that if I am slowing him down he can go ahead. Sometimes it may seem like we’re all starting from the same spot; but secretly, I am starting further down.

On those days, in order to be successful at a challenge – I will require a little more time to go up.  


To All My Family & Friends,

Let me just say, thank you for being you, coming along with me in these blog posts, or with other events that are not mentioned here. Without your love, support and friendship through the difficult times – I would not make it through the most punishing days.

Change #82: He Said, “You Should Try An Espresso.”

And so I did.

But first, let’s recap shall we?

I have tried regular coffee, café au lait, (I now know, this is just coffee with warm milk), a Chili Mocha…

Now that I think about it, let’s not recap. I’ve had many coffee drinks for this blog. I would need to go through each post, write them down, and then type them up. I’m not doing it tonight. Maybe, I’ll make it one of my closing posts when Pushing Boundaries is near its end.

We will see. 

Suffice it to say, I’ve tried lots of variations of coffee drinks in almost 6 months, and the only one I really loved, was the Chili Mocha.  That being said, this next part may seem odd because while I don’t like the taste of coffee: I LOVE THE SMELL OF IT!

This was played out subtly for me today. I had one of those challenging-for-no-good-reason days and found myself in a grumpy, tired state before making my espresso purchase. As soon as I found a table and placed my beverage down on it, I felt the warmth of my beverage in combination with the spicy smell of coffee beans caused my lips to automatically curl up to form a smile.

I just love that smell. It reminds me of the warmth of my parents home when my father, mother, brother and me would spend hours sitting around the dining room table chatting and joking. In the background, I could hear a coffee pot sputtering and the wafting smell of coffee beans hung in the air.  Life was grand back then. I just didn’t know it at the time. 

But, my happiness for coffee stops – at the olfactory senses.

Today, as I grabbed my wee little cup that was only half full of espresso, and pushed it back into my tummy, it was no different.  The barista told me that I could have turned it into, a long. (Apparently, this means that they just add water to an espresso.) I somehow felt like I would be wimping out, so I staunchly refused.

I said, “No! I drink my vodka without any water! I certainly can do the same for coffee!”

Ok, I didn’t really say that.

But my point is that I wasn’t about to water down coffee when I don’t do it for vodka. (I’m not kidding, I really don’t.)

The espresso was bitter, and slightly tar-tasting. As well, it seemed to get cold in less than 1 minute. After my beverage was cool, I heaved the rest of the brown sludge back and I was instantly taken back to when I was 13 years old; that night when I drank the bottom of the pot in an effort to stay awake to complete an assignment. The coffee had sat out all day, and had enough time to glue itself to the bottom of the pot. Not to be deterred, I still drank it.

And after that night – NEVER AGAIN. (Well, except for this blog.)

The cold tasting espresso caused the flashback. In response to this memory, the hair on the ends of my arms stood up and I got shivers down my back as I heaved the last bit down, cursed, scowled at the bottom of the cup and declared: I DO NOT LIKE ESPRESSO.

This is not my cup of tea.