Yeah, who had blue blue bubblegum ice cream tonight?
Me, that’s who!
Do you remember that blog post? I attempted to have bubblegum ice cream because I never had it as a child, and decided I would make it so one night – to hell with being too old! Alas, the night I attempted it, the stars did not align for me, and Purdys Chocolatier was plum out of it. Instead, I opted for some other flavour that a five-year old would have. The other stuff was good – but I still wanted to try bubblegum ice cream.
Tonight I made a second attempt. I decided from the start that if they did not have bubblegum ice cream I was going to have vanilla. Seriously, at some point you have to stop making substitutions (I mean substituting other stuff for bubblegum. I wanted ice cream!) and just wait for bubblegum to be available.
The doors opened. The stars aligned. The cosmic universe was in my favour. (You would think I just won the lottery here.) And there it was….
I had a single scoop in a cup. As I swooped up a spoonful, I was so excited as I hunted for an empty seat at Carlingwood Shopping Mall. I have no idea what was going on at that mall on a Tuesday night; but every bench was taken for the first couple of 100 feet. (I’m not very good at judging distance. I’m the type that turns immediately at 300 feet when my GPS says so because I think I must be right on top of the road I have to turn onto. Yeah, it’s ugly.)
Anyways, there I go off-roading again. Let’s get back on track.
Bubblegum ice cream was very sweet tasting, but also had a little bit of an artificial taste as well. (Just like bubblegum) When I finally found a seat, I dove into my blue blob of ice cream a little further and noticed what I thought were candies. I scooped a bit up. And then I started chewing. It was candy after all, you need to chew.
And I chewed.
Chewed some more.
It was not candy. It was bubblegum. I don’t know why, but I didn’t think they actually put bubblegum in the ice cream. I thought it was the same flavor that you get when you chew Bubblicious or something, but certainly they wouldn’t…
But they did. And there I sat chewing bubblegum while attempting to eat ice cream. You have no idea how hard it was (or, maybe you do? Have you had bubblegum ice cream?) to scoop my ice cream, slurp it down (because that’s what you do with ice cream) and try not to inadvertently swallow my gum in the process. If I did swallow my blob of gum (I kept accidentally adding more gum to the mound because it was hidden under ice cream) I was certain I would choke on it. Once that happened a 6 foot, brawny, security guard that looks just like Zac Efron would show up to save my life.
Why you say?
He was walking around Carlingwood Mall doing his patrols and saw that I needed medical attention (I was blue, just like my ice cream) as I was unable to breathe. The ever-hero he dives into action and smacks me on the back and a gigantic ball of gum is immediately dislodged from my throat.
After he saves my life, he would turn to me and say, “Aren’t you a little too old to be eating that type of ice cream? Maybe you should stick to vanilla.”
As I watch him walk away I mumble, “it was for my blog.”
But he doesn’t hear me. (Fantasy. With a heavy dose of reality. )
This next part is not fantasy. The last spoonful I had of ice cream, had one of those candy/bubble gum pieces stuck in it. I know this because half way through eating my ice cream I decided I had enough of chewing gum and eating ice cream at the same time. I multi-task all day long. I don’t want to do it with ice cream.
I had already removed all the bubble gum I had in my mouth discreetly, via a napkin a little earlier. With the new piece of gum that had sneaked it’s way in, I decided to chew it a bit. It was a second, maybe two – then it got caught on my molars and decided it would web itself along my back teeth. I tried to “subtly” stick my fingers in my back molar to pull it out, but as I pulled, a long string of gum stretched from my back molar to my finger. I yanked at it breaking it off. I decided I would just leave the rest of the gum on the molar and deal with it when I got home.
Sort of the end…
Here’s a few other random thoughts that don’t belong anywhere else:
Random Thought #1:
Look to your right. (I think that’s right.) You should see a list of blog posts in progress. Honestly, we have too many on the go. But so far, I’m on target for the ones that remain. Blonde hair. Check. Make-up on every day so far. Check. Alcohol-free. Check.
(I think that’s all. If I’m missing anything, please let me know.)
Random Thought #2:
I don’t think I’ve ever pulled the definition of “boundary” before. I figured I should check out what the “official” definition means.
Definition of boundary
: something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent
~ taken from Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Random Thought #3:
Built a snowman last night on my front lawn, that was probably the world’s smallest, and most pathetic. It rained today, but somehow the little guy was still there. I thought he looked exceptionally cute, and while it doesn’t count as a “real change” I wanted to share him with you.