Change #76: Oops, I did it again….

It was 10:15 PM. There was something that threatened me to the core. Something within my mind, that would take me down publicly. It was there –lurking in the shadows. 

Unbeknownst to me it hovered in the mirror. As I pulled out my floss, I begin to flick little bits from various meals that I eat throughout the day, that had moments ago, clung to my teeth. Green bits of spinach from my spinach and feta wrap that I eat in the morning. The banana bread I eat at 2 PM. These were reminders of an incoming failure: the failure to eat well, and that other thing that pushes back on fat cells.

What was it?

What was the other thing?


As I looked up in the mirror, she stared back at me: that slightly chubby woman.

Yes, I had made it through the day. But just barely. I had been nauseous at 3 AM, and I believed it to be in part, caused from my massage 9 hours earlier. Then, I got a kill-me-now headache at 8 AM before I left the house to go to work.

Yes, I had been late for work because of these events. However, I had made it through several centimeters of snow that should never have fallen that day, and avoided an accident. I made it to work in one piece: both me and the car.

As I settled at my desk I was sore all over. I felt like I had beaten black and blue. I might as well have boxed in a ring the night before. The headache returned.

But I made it. I made it through the workday. Then, when I thought I was safe in my car, the freezing rain commenced. The events of the day started to make me buckle and I cried to myself, could this day get any worse? 

I made it home in one piece carrying pizza to feed to my roommates. (Ahem, that would be hubby and Hershey….sorry, I’m trying to write this like a 1940’s murder mystery here. Let’s continue….) The roommates and I eat our steaming hot pizza that dripped with overloaded grease and cheese. Yes, it was a win, and a win for all.

Roommate with two legs offered to walk the beast. (Oh god, I don’t really want to call him a beast….Remember, he is LBM. Or, HERSHEY!) I welcomed the offer and settled in to nurse my  headache and exhaustion with a red vintage drink.

We watched Legends of Tomorrow and Arrow. Those daring superheroes. A superhero I would love to be. As I looked at their chiseled bodies to fight bad guys, it was a reminder of something forgotten.

A challenge.

A commitment.

As I flossed my teeth, I stared at myself: AND THERE IT WAS….

I mumbled, “Crap, I didn’t do a workout!!!!”

I fought for a moment. As I swiped at the invisible intruder that would take me down, I swore I could still win! The recumbent bike was steps away! Surely I could make it!

But, then it gathered it’s hands around my throat and it took me. It was over.

Another failure claimed a blog post.


P.S. Thanks to Britney Spears for singing the song, Oops, I did it again.

I know I get to say that so many times, for various things, in one day. And with blog posts.


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