I had an epiphany yesterday as I strolled around one of our smaller malls in Ottawa called Carlingwood Mall. As I passed the third jewellery store, I thought about the beginning of a relationship; that time when everything is new and fresh and a couple begins to date and they will spend long periods of time together in order to get to know each other. On occasion, in order to show your appreciation of the other person (most of the time the woman) a man will lavish expensive items like jewellery on the lady of his dreams.
What I’ve found in my relationships (whether with my husband, friends, family, or LBM) is that over time I begin to neglect the people that matter the most to me. I have many reasons: work stress (all my jobs including writing), grief, loss, financial concerns, chores….there are an endless number of reasons. I thought it was ironic though that at the beginning of my relationship with my husband, I was committed to spend a great deal of time with him. And today, we have short conversations before I run upstairs to work on my writing.
The same thing is true with my dog. When he was a puppy I would spend a great deal of time with him. Now that he is older and he’s coming up to his 9th birthday, I spend less and less time with him. Sure, I still do his walks and we snuggle on the couch in the mornings. But I have become more rushed with him, more impatient as my computer beckons to me to come and work on the many projects I have sitting in pending status.
My dog. LBM. The chocolate snug-a-boo who was a puppy when my Dad got sick, and a few months later when I got the call from my brother saying my father died. He was there when the phone rang again, 11 months later, and my mother said my brother had an accident. Almost 5 years after that phone call, another call – this time to announce my brother died. And he was there when I came home after my friend died last year.
And I neglect him. We use to spend Wednesday nights together, go for a big walk, pop some popcorn, and watch TV. HE LOVED IT. I know he loved it, because he would climb on the couch, flip upside down and his jowls drooped from hanging his head upside down. (He kind of looks like a bat.) It’s the ultimate indicator he is happy.
Tonight will be different. I always have to clean the floors and do laundry. That still has to be done. But, what I don’t need to do is lose 40 minutes obsessively checking my sales graphs with Amazon (really not that much changes daily/hourly) or hanging out on Facebook. The time I spend reviewing graphs alone normally costs me an hour. And that’s Hershey and my cuddle/watch TV together time.
After 5 PM tonight, no graph checking, or hanging around on Facebook. Tis forbidden. I need to spend time with LBM.
P.S. Just in case you all think I’m a lousy wife, I do plan to be better to my hubby too. My dog can’t argue with me about blogging about him. Hershey can’t read.